Desert summer
NJ is on his way to the airport. He's been with my parents since I left on the 5th July after two amazing weeks in Greece... I never saw him, which is a good sign. Admittedly, I did get rather bored after six novels, copious amounts of paddle boarding, RYA 1 certification and countless mealtimes alone. But hey, we had a blast! I leave him in the UK because I think it is best for him. No kids around in Doha, the weather is unbearable to be outside mostly and it means our nanny can also visit her family. I've been cursed, hated, cried at and shouted at this summer, both over the phone and via WhatsApp and Instagram messenger. The joys of single parenting a tween (apparently the new hip word for pre-teens and boy is he pre-teening).
NJ will fly today to Amsterdam to spend three weeks with his dad and girlfriend, they will drive down to France in a couple of days. There are nerves to the point that he was sick the other day, I wasn't told, a joint decision between him and Grandma, they know I worry. He's nervous.... I get it.
Fast forward ten hours, the day got away with me. He's arrived, he is ok, I hear in his voice that he's not 100% him. Tomorrow they travel a long way in the car down to France. Tomorrow I will be more anxious, I won't be kept updated on the journey, safe arrival and NJ doesn't always answer his phone for whatever reason...he's just 12.
I've been shouted at three times on the phone today by a client and the client's client (that was twice). I wanted to go home and cry. I wouldn't mind if it was justified shouting at me, but I found myself apologising, cajoling and defending in order to keep the peace and try and pacify both parties. All in the name of business, it's my job I need to man up. I still feel like crying, but there are three contracts on my desk to finalise and another one coming to me that I have to manage and it's going to be messy. I was in the office from 7 in the morning until 9 in the evening last night and the only time I left my desk was to go to the bathroom. I sat so still I was freezing and drove home with the airco off.
NJ not being here makes me feel vulnerable and weak and not at all like my normal self. Sometimes I wonder when I'm going to get a break, but mostly I thank the lucky stars every day and feel extremely grateful, but a hug wouldn't go amiss today. Tomorrow my big girl pants are firmly back on and I'll be hula hooping all the way to the weekend, if I don't fall asleep.....
Be more altruistic xxx
NJ will fly today to Amsterdam to spend three weeks with his dad and girlfriend, they will drive down to France in a couple of days. There are nerves to the point that he was sick the other day, I wasn't told, a joint decision between him and Grandma, they know I worry. He's nervous.... I get it.
Fast forward ten hours, the day got away with me. He's arrived, he is ok, I hear in his voice that he's not 100% him. Tomorrow they travel a long way in the car down to France. Tomorrow I will be more anxious, I won't be kept updated on the journey, safe arrival and NJ doesn't always answer his phone for whatever reason...he's just 12.
I've been shouted at three times on the phone today by a client and the client's client (that was twice). I wanted to go home and cry. I wouldn't mind if it was justified shouting at me, but I found myself apologising, cajoling and defending in order to keep the peace and try and pacify both parties. All in the name of business, it's my job I need to man up. I still feel like crying, but there are three contracts on my desk to finalise and another one coming to me that I have to manage and it's going to be messy. I was in the office from 7 in the morning until 9 in the evening last night and the only time I left my desk was to go to the bathroom. I sat so still I was freezing and drove home with the airco off.
NJ not being here makes me feel vulnerable and weak and not at all like my normal self. Sometimes I wonder when I'm going to get a break, but mostly I thank the lucky stars every day and feel extremely grateful, but a hug wouldn't go amiss today. Tomorrow my big girl pants are firmly back on and I'll be hula hooping all the way to the weekend, if I don't fall asleep.....
Be more altruistic xxx
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