Goodbyes

Who likes goodbyes? Nobody right? Me neither.  Tonight my dear friend M came to dinner and to say goodbye.  I've avoided any leaving party, formal affair, going round giving hugs; I prefer to slip away and change to Skype, phones etc. Goodbyes suck. Some can't be avoided, like at the school gates on the last day of term.

I'm lucky enough to have a few very very special friends who I can share all my hopes and fears with; tell my deepest darkest secrets to. Speak from the heart without being looked at like I'm a ridiculous alien. M is one of those friends.  We have worked together, laughed together, cried together, got drunk together, been through good times and bad times over the last twelve years and although I'm moving continents, we will stay friends forever I'm sure.  She gave me a beautiful bracelet and a card that made me cry. I will miss you M; lots!

I've just been speaking to another very very dear friend who's grieving and living in a surreal nightmare.  She waits to say goodbye with so many others; how long it will take, we don't know. My heart is breaking for her at the other side of the world, words fail me, for once I don't know what to say.

I'm glad we spoke. I can't help her, but I know she's breathing and eating soup.  The rest will come when she's ready.